A love letter

After writing out how I feel and what I think like 4 times, everything seems less significant and I am reminded of us being happy. I'm just waiting for him to tell me what he thinks.

I need a proper closure one this.

In the meantime, I need my comfort food.

I wish I could turn back time

Now I wish I'd book tickets for April instead of July. July seems so far away now.
I daren't think too far. Nor plan too far.

An ambiguous reality.

"I will be with you always..."

Those words brought comfort, but not assurance.

I wanted so much to reach over and hold your hand. Yet, it felt like there was an invisible wall between us. Throughout the 30 minute journey, I simply could not reach out to you.

When you reached over and touched me, I wanted deep down inside to turn my head to smile back at you, like I always did. I didnt. I just looked out of the window, not knowing what to do.

Somehow, part of me acknowledges that the story is the way you said it. The intention in your messages puts me off. I told you last night I can't do this alone. You said you'll always be with me.

I hope its true. I really do.

Since I've given you and us another chance, you said for us to put this all behind us and come out stronger. You said we will.

I remember every single thing that you said. I'm holding you to that.

Meanwhile, I need time to heal, to patch myself up.

Its not gonna be easy to go back to where we came from.

Please just let it be a bad bad bad dream...

A blade just stabbed through my back and right through my heart. Where it hurts the most.

I can't think, my head hurts so bad.
I feel so drained, I just lay there the whole night, staring into space.

You made me believe so many things. Yet you ruined it all.

You said I passed the sentence too soon, too abrupt, without explanation, without forgiveness.

What you say makes sense, yet it doesn't.
It all somehow tallies, yet it doesn't.

I can't decide whether to believe you.
I can't decide whether to stay firm in my verdict.
I can't decide whether I'm a fool.

I woke up this morning, thinking, perhaps, its all just a bad bad dream. I wanted it so much to be so. Unfortunately, its not.

Perhaps, its a pebble in our path.
Perhaps, its a mountain we both have to cross.
Perhaps, there's no further road ahead to where we came from.

Big Boys' Toys

He bought a new phone yesterday. It was a looooonnnnggg wait for this day.



Without much persuasion from Mr Singtel Man, he gladly gave me his card to pay for the new toy. Should have seen the smile on his face. Beaming like a young kid with a new toy.

As the man says, "When I see people doing their business at my void deck, I'll can have evidence!"


Sometimes, I really wonder, how old he really is......

One boy, one girl.

I was told to create a new post so that it wont reflect so bad on my boyfriend.

He does piss me off to the max at times, but he has the ability to make me fall in love with him all over again every single time.

3 years sure sounds like a long time. Let alone for the rest of our lives.

I am so looking forward to our Bangkok trip.