All in all.

2006's been an eventful year, probably mentioned it a thousand and one times, the girl and I had even listed down the major happenings that went by in a flash this year, and let's say, we surprised even ourselves!

Melancholic thoughts were running through my mind last night and robbed me a tad too much of my sleep. The urge to get up and write it down was intense, but as much as it is, my butt was asleep already.

I had wanted to jot down this post for memories' sake, few would know that I re-read my diary entries time to time. At times, I choose to simply tear it to pieces - these are happenings that I want erased from my mind. At other moments, all I want is to pen it down, be it a happy moment or a moment that I was hurting real bad, to serve as a reminder and a lesson learnt. Events and words that mean nothing to others, yet mean so much to me, cos they are pieces of my memories, that made me behave and think the way I am now.

May 2006

A really bad and in the dumps period, when my slightly after 2 year relationship came to an abrupt end. It hit me hard. My mind went a little haywire for awhile. Being over and done with, I guess I won't touch on the cause and effects. We're still in really close contact now, though I still question myself from time to time, why did I forgive him in the end. Was it to soothe my wounds, to be easier on myself, or I simply can't be bothered with it anymore? Regardless, I don't see anything happening between us anymore, contradictory to all your concerns, stepping out of the fog has made my mind clearer, somehow.

In the same month, I stepped into another relationship. One that came fast, and ended fast too. Perhaps, you still do read my blog, perhaps, you can't be bothered anymore. There were happy times and likewise, unhappy moments weaved through the short span of our relationship too. If you're reading this, I just want to say, thank you.

Thank you for being there when I needed somemone.

Thank you for being the shoulder I needed to lean on, for giving the hugs I needed to push on, for believing in me, and us, though it was only for a short while. For the laughter we shared, the lessons taught and most importantly, the memories.

I was happy then, though words of such means nothing to both you and me now.

We didn't end as amiably as I had hoped, but like I said, I stepped out of it stronger. Somehow, when it happened, I felt no impulse to question the doubts, why it happened, why didn't we work out, why this, why that. Words are powerful tools. I've learnt. In a way, you've changed my mindset in ways I still can't fathom.

I know you're happy now, and that you're doing well, and I'm truly happy for you from the bottom of my heart. Maybe, you didn't hurt. Maybe, you did. Undoubtedly, we've both recovered and moved on from where we left off. 4 months has passed since we last met. Perhaps, one day, we can sit down and laugh over what happened, and become friends we never attempted to be.

For now, like I've said before, I wish you all the best.


June 2006

It's been 6 months since I left my previous company, and 6 months since I joined this company. Close friends would know how it's like for me now. I emphasize, just let me bitch about it a little, I'll stick through it. One more year, that's all I need. I do miss my previous company, the people and the laughter. Things are different here, but I get the satisfaction and the assurance I seek, from people who matters most.

July 2006

I saw my beloved cousin walking down the red carpet. Recalling what I said to her then, I am exhilarated for her, yet feeling an odd sense of loss. I'm glad that you're happy, and I've gained a cousin-in-law. We should find time to resume our ktv sessions. I know, its me. I'll find time, don't worry.

September 2006

The girl made me fall in love with wakeboards. Then, she made me go riding. After countless face plants and Carlsberg beers, I've gotten my own board. A hefty investment, 1.6k to be exact, I think my brain got water-clogged I couldn't think properly. Nonetheless, I love my Angel, my Transits, after I manage to get into them. Now to get over the wet weather, I'm dying to ride! It's been so long now! Met a lot of people through riding, especially Mike, David, Helly, Long, Chun Kiat, Geraldine and all. The countless laughters in Mike's shop, the Nana Thai dinners, the on going stabs at each other, and our planned camping trips, it will happen soon.

November 2006

Seeing the painfully planned Asia Pacific Conference 2006 happening before my eyes, made all late nights and frustrations fizzle off. I'll bash myself in the head next year, looking back at this, but I am so looking forward to next year's conference. Asia Pacific Conference - Dubai 2007.


Other happenings I shall not speak of, but will do so, in a couple of months when it surfaces. It will. I have faith. Once again, I shall not list down any New Year's resolutions here. I just need to clear stuff up. Some things are getting way too messed up, and it should not be happening.

There are things that will stay with me and remain unspoken of.

One person I really want to thank, is Errol. Thanks my dear, for being there for me for so long. For trying so hard to keep me on track, for irritating me and being irritated by me, and so much more. You've kept me sane, and driven me insane. You should come to Batam with me again, your said Punggol trips are not happening! I do wish you'd let me watch the shows I want to watch though, instead of criticizing them!

Not forgetting dear, you know what's coming up next year for you, we will make through this and make it work. Trust me. Love you babe! And the guy too, yes you, Sham, though u can drive me nuts, but I love you all the same!