Yes, I can't save the world.

.....as much as I try.. I'm still fucking pissed.

I have half a mind to scream the house down. The other half to ignore everything.

I don't own anyone, neither do I owe anyone anything. The only actions I have to account for are my own. Don't lump whoever's deeds to mine, cos I don't have that kind of power to control, nor to manipulate.

Pushing no blame to anyone, I just need to be treated as a separate entity, cos that's what I am.

I didn't blow based on one sole fact, but of incidents and emotions too complex and too intricate to be weaved into words. The fatigue's not unknown, neither is it within my control. It's not as simple as yielding to que sera sera.

"It's not your problem," they say.

I'm making it mine, cos you mean so much I want you to have the very very best of it all.


Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish, I'm not me.

Babes, I NEED a hug, Chevrons and that little space of my own. I want to be in that little space on the roof, where everything seems so unimportant and minute. Yes, I can't worry for the world. Perhaps, even in this little world of mine, not everything can be made right. Could they be wrong for a right reason?

I want to be evil, for once. This time, I truly am drained, right to the toes of my feet. I'm tired of providing the answers, I'm tired of being the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, of being the constant in everyone else's life. Where's my shoulder? Where's my listening ear? Where's the constant for me to follow?

Somehow, when I start edging the border to being in the centre of attention, the wrong one seeks me out. But, I need that tiny bit of attention once in a while, to remind myself of my own existence, and not in the shadow of everyone else's spotlight.

I am real, after all. Even machines break down. Who knows, I might just disappear into thin air some time.

Not now perhaps. Thank you my lovelies, for making everything less significant and me more significant. I'll drop by your shop tomorrow for a hug and say goodbye to your shop for the last time.