Grease.

I love musicals. Absolutely do. I loved Chicago. Then there was Phantom of the Opera. Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady. Of course, who could forget Blades, our very own Sandy aka dear Christina Tong Szee Chia.

I have one musical, my all-time favourite. I've caught it countless times, the songs still make me swoon, I still crave to watch it. Ignoring the comparison of John Travolta's fat image now to then, of course.


Grease.


With zero recollections who, how, where got me totally won over with this timeless classic, I just feel the sudden urge to get my hands on it.

There are some things said that can never be unsaid, whether you mean it a not, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it just doesn't work that way.

Like the time...

She said I stole $5 from her.

She said I was going out to seduce men.

She said I was out gallivanting.

He said he agreed with me and that I was right, but I've to listen to her solely cos she's who she is.

Or the many times she implied I depended on men for money.

She said I was dumb.

She said she doesn't trust me.

Albeit history, these words flash past my eyes every single time I see her. The countless times that she said she don't mean it the way she said doesn't make a least bit difference. What's said cannot be unsaid.

New phrases of such can be said, they no longer hurt as much. When put together, the words actually have a numbing effect. It doesn't change things, it just makes me immune and oblivious to the harsh, insulting attacks.

It's like, how I accidentally lunged my thumb into a pot of hot boiling oil while cooking some years back. Possibly more than a decade ago. It doesn't put me off cooking, but it hurt so bad, I'll never forget. It did take a quite some time for me to start using that pot again.

I don't forget. I simply get over the hurting.

When tear glands and all else fails, make the best out of every situation.

I'm not blessed with active tear glands. Even at the point when I really feel like it, it's hard for me to do so. Only to the point when certain limits are reached.

I don't know what to say, cos I'm over it. He's not, and I have no idea how long this will be. I'm reaching my wits end.

Somebody tell me what to do. Seriously. I have no freaking idea and its driving me insane. Every single thing I do, I get a hurting comment. When I say it hurts, it really does and I do not like being treated like that.

Just tell me what you want me to do.