There are times. Times when the melancholy and memories sets in and starts to eat up the determination and restraint built up the past few weeks. When I just happen to let my guard down and browse through photos of us, sms conversations and flashbacks. It hits me again, like the feeling of accidentally bruising a recovering wound. It will not hurt as much as it did the first time round, but nonetheless, it still does, but just a little. As the wound heals, these accidental bruising will just hurt less and less, and fade gradually over time. The wound will heal, and it is healing.
When I start thinking back, it simply feels like a bad case of deja vu. Something between reality and dreams. The kind of familiarity that leaves you bewildered and confused if it truly happened. Then, the more you think about it, the more it fades away and you start losing pieces of the familiarity. All you remember then, is the gist of it.
You stop wanting to talk about it, even when you start, you lose track of the events that happened and simply brush it off with a "It just wasn't right,". Perhaps, that's the last point before you truly heal. Its just a matter of time anyway.
You start telling yourself, it really wasn't meant to be.
Despite these, the lost love does leave impacts, subconsciously in you. I'm trying not to bring these uncertainties and distrust along with me. It's just harder for me to start a relationship now cos I've seen an ugly side. I'm just wary of being hurt the same way before. Now that I've let you go, it's time I truly let myself go.
I'm happy now. It's a whole new experience. Like how he puts it, our past experiences have enabled us to appreciate each other a whole lot more. Thanks for everything, dear.
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