I need air.

I feel...suffocated, like being chin-deep in water, there's air, but it's not enough, not enough for me to breathe comfortably, but just hanging there. Every breath I take requires an intense amount of energy just to sustain my sanity.

I want to help but there's only so much I can do. Just so much.
I wish I could. I feel so so so so bad. I am sorry.

I see what's going on and it hits me hard. I don't know how to help other than just be there. This is when I realised, how grey the area is between right and wrong. Neither way sounds right, yet neither way sounds wrong.

On another note, I am so traumatised by the sudden increase of deaths around me. I've attended like 2 wakes in this week. To be honest, I am freaking out. It never affected me this much cos it didn't happen to people I know or around me.

This is no good.

My grandparents are old and not in fantastic health.

I just pray nothing happens any time soon.

Please be strong.

Pretty please, with ice cream and chocolate chips and chocolate syrup on top?