I'm getting married next year.

You said you're thinking of settling down next year. With me, I presume. I just realised I'm supposed to be getting married next year! Why didnt I know about this big piece of news? Am I supposed to be involved? Is it my wedding, your wedding or OUR wedding? I can guess what you're thinking now, try harder to guess your thinking 2 years down the road, but I dont know if I can go on doing this for the rest of my life.

Come next year, I'll only be 22. Ever came across your mind whether I want to settle down? This are your plans. Whatever happened to MY plans? You talk about marriage like its just climbing the next step into our relationship. In a way it is, then why do I feel like I'm pushing us through this, yet you have your own destination and I have mine?

Its not about "We're doing fine now. So I suppose we can proceed to Stage 2, which is marriage." . Its more of "I want to spend the rest of my life with this person and I can see that happening". You belong to the former. I belong to the latter. Our paths weave in and out, sometimes, we reach for common goals, sometimes we dont. Now, it seems like its more of the donts.

I never ever thought that I would be making a decision about marriage at 20. Neither do I still want to do that. It has never been in my plans at all.

It seems like all these effort I've put into our relationship, or you can say my relationship, I'm the only one doing so. It feels like you're just enjoying the process. Its no longer about what was before. Now, its between you and me.
I can spend ages trying to change your mindset, without a guarantee whether you'll change, but thats not what being married is about, not even what being together is about.

If I break up with you, its not because I no longer love you. I still do. In fact, highly likely more than you love me. It'll be because, I dont see a future for us, cos I dont want to change you to accomodate us, cos I want us to work together and not me alone. You love yourself more than anything or anyone and because of these, I'm hurting so bad inside.