be brave for yourself.

i did something so brave today. something i havent been able to do.

he wanted to meet me. i said no. even though i wanted to.

i'm going to make him realise my existence. that he should start treating me right. and not take me for granted. but what i cant believe is, he was nice just now, messaged me how was my project and stuff, then said he shall not distract me anymore. and now he's playing mahjong.

never mind. he can play all he wants today. then i shall not meet him tomorrow, or the day after, or the day day after, until he comes looking for me. my guy friend treats me better than my boyfriend. a whole lot better. it does sting when i hear of the nice things that other boyfriends do for them. but what can i do? i've got to accept that you arent made up of sweet talk. its the effort baby. dont you see it? fine. i shall stop complaining and grumbling. i am going to do my project. i am going to concentrate. i am going to go to work tomorrow. i am not going to message you. i am going to study after work. i am not going to message you. i am not going to meet you. i am going to enjoy myself. and i am going to make you wake me up tomorrow. HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!

i gotta be brave.