i believe in karma.

some questions though. why is it that bad karma goes around and yet good karma awaits to be seen? high possibility the answer would be not now but someday. that leads me to question 2: when is that someday? what if i never live to that SOMEDAY?

i see him in his sleep, i love the way he looks. we had a rather brief but satisfying conversation today, while he accompanied me on the phone when i was on my way to work. or rather i was accompanying him when he was driving. he's so into taking courses now. he said if things work out well here, he doesnt want to go over to vietnam anymore. its good news for me of cos. just praying everything goes well. i know its tough on him and there's alot of things he has on his mind, so i try very hard, very very hard not to demand too much attention from him. but there are times, simple simple stuff that just pushes me over. of cos, i still keep my cool. just blabber alot of nonsense. forgive me.

he had a minor accident with the van yesterday and broke the rear glass panel of the van due to his negligence. apparently he wasnt thinking about how much it would cost, who's going to have to pay bla bla bla, but rather he was blaming himself for making such a stupid mistake. i kept telling him not to dwell over it cos what happened cannot be undone. at least he knows he should pay more attention to details in future.

its ironic how you can forget how you started disliking a person. you can put so much energy and effort into finding ways to make life hell for that person, spend so much time dwelling over it, and when it actually comes down to it, i bet you cant remember what the exact thing that person did to make u so mad. you wouldnt remember when it started cos you're too obsessed about getting to the end when you would vent your anger. you wouldnt look at the big picture, cos you're so eager to get to the next step of your plan. its all so amazing. how all this starts to fit into place. when you actually sit down to really think about things, you start to realise how all these is just going to fit into a single page of your life, one where you would look back and laugh yourself silly, hopefully, with no regrets.