I've been talking about it so much, so much, I lost track of the events. What happened doesn't seem to be as significant anymore.

You told me not to keep dwelling in the details, in what happened, so that it'll be easier to let go.

I suppose in a way, you're doing slightly better cos you're able to differentiate work. Perhaps, mahjong is an escape for you. Next up, world cup, and after that, you'll be up on your feet again. At least that's how I perceive it.

I don't know how badly you're taking it, you don't seem to be very in touch with your feelings. You don't know if you have let me go. I just don't know if I CAN let you go.

You seem to be still into it, yet, trying to get out. Okay, that's me too.

I want you to be sad, yet I want you to be happy.
I want you to mope, yet I want you to smile.
I want you to grieve, yet I want you to laugh.
I want you to move on, yet I don't want you to let me go.

I'm a mess.

I wanted to be selfish, to keep reminding you of my existence, just so you won't move on so quickly. My angel tells me to do what's best for you, even if you don't want me to contact anymore. Just so that you'll be happy.

I've been telling everyone the same thing and I know it in my heart too. If I don't move on, I'll never find the one person who's truly meant for me. But what if you're the one who's truly meant for me and I go one big round finding the one and I can't get back here cos you have moved on without me?

That's life, I know.

I just want to be selfish for once. Really selfish. Can I?

But I don't want to waste your time.

Damn it. What's wrong with me????